10 Questions to Ask Before You Get That Tattoo

Posted on July 24, 2014     1 Comment

tattoo

Tattoos are really trendy these days. It seems like just about everyone is getting them, Christians included. Among young people, tattoos have become a common and accepted form of self-expression – something that was unthinkable in my grandparent’s generation. Biblically, Christians have the freedom to get tattoos. The only place tattoos are expressly forbidden in Scripture is in Leviticus 19:28, which is applicable only for priests of Israel in order that they would not be identified with a pagan religion. Other than that, it is a matter of personal conscience and conviction. So it is not necessarily a sin to get a tattoo.

At the same time, with the business of tattoo removal increasing 440% in the last decade, it is obvious that many people who are getting tattoos are not really thinking it through. I think it is better to be responsible ahead of time than to rush into making a decision that could be a mistake. Alas, here are 10 questions to ask yourself before getting inked.

  1. Is this financially responsible? Tattoos can be really expensive. The more you get, the bigger they are, the better the quality, and the more colourful they are all increase the cost. It is wise to ponder if getting a tattoo is a good use of the money that God has entrusted to your care. Could the money be better spent another way? Are you in a financial position with extra cash, or are you taking money away from important financial obligations? Are you robbing God of offerings or failing to be generous towards others? It is good to ponder such questions.
  2. How will this affect my employment? More and more employers are becoming flexible when it comes to employees with tattoos. But someone with tattoos that are not easily coverable will inevitably be cutting themselves off from some employment options. This may or may not be a big deal, but don’t overlook it.
  3. What is my motive for getting this tattoo? Sadly, some people get tattoos to be cool. I suspect that a lot of the tattooing going on these days is for this reason….which is a really crappy reason for doing it. If you are going to put something so permanent on your body, at least have a good reason for it!
  4. What does this tattoo say about me? Tattoos are mostly a form of self-expression, which is totally fine. The problem is that people change, and what you want to express today might not be what you want to express tomorrow. Be cautious when you decide what you want the world to see about you.
  5. Am I drawing undue attention to myself? The Bible’s admonition to live a peaceful and quiet life (1 Thessalonians 4:11), as well as the instruction to be more focused on our inner self than our appearance (1 Peter 3:3-4), is hard to square away with tattoos. Are you just trying to draw attention to yourself? Is your tattoo in a place that is going to tempt another person to lust? These are questions worth asking.
  6. Will this bring glory to God? Everything we do should be meant to bring glory to God (1 Corinthians 10:31). It is easier to justify getting a tattoo when it has a “Christian” meaning or symbolism to it, but I don’t think that necessarily means it automatically brings glory to God (see questions 1, 3, 4 and 10). You can put a Scripture on your arm but still be dishonouring God. Even though you may have the freedom in Christ to get a tattoo, that does not alleviate the need to ask God what he would have you do.
  7. How will this affect my family? Does your spouse support the idea? Do they find tattoos unattractive? How will you explain it to your children? How will you handle their future desire to get a tattoo, should they want one? You should have good answers to this questions ahead of time.
  8. How will it look as I age? The reality is that (God willing) you will get old and wrinkly. Many tattoos don’t look very good in the later stages of life. Are you ok with that? Do you want a stretching and distorted image on your body for the last 15 or 25 years of your life?
  9. Am I being impulsive with this decision? My personal feeling is that if you really want a tattoo for all the right reasons, you will want it a year or two from now as well. It’s a good idea to wait a while and let the idea simmer before running out and getting ink. Waiting a while just might deter you from making a mistake.
  10. Am I hindering my ability to reach others for Christ? A lot of Christians get tattoos in order to create a cultural bridge, or to have a built in conversation starter with non-Christians. I get that. But at the same time, tattoos will cause some people to not listen to what you have to say. Older folks who are more traditional might have a harder time taking your faith seriously. Even more so, some cultures are strongly opposed to tattoos. Who is to say that God will not ask you to become a cross-cultural missionary in a place like that? Or what about trying to evangelize in a closed-country with a visible tattoo of a cross? How can you know if God may send you to a place like that in the future?

I’m not against tattoos outright. But I am against people getting them without taking time to prayerfully and carefully think it through. I would encourage you to consider these 10 questions and see where the answers might lead you.

How Should Christian Parents Talk to Their Kids About Sex Before Marriage?

Posted on July 22, 2014     Leave a Comment

It’s a question that every Jesus-loving parent must grapple with: How should I talk to my kids about sex before marriage? It’s a tough question not only because of the sensitivity of the issue, but because of the evolving complexities of today’s changing society. Many parents feel unequipped to handle this task, and understandably so. As a youth pastor, I broach this subject fairly frequently with my students, partly because I know the pervasiveness of the sexual world in which they live, and partly because the Bible is so jam-packed with passages that address this subject matter it is hard to avoid it even if you tried.

There is much more to sexuality than this blog post intends to cover. Specifically, I want to help parents talk with their kids about sex before marriage. I think it could be helpful to start by covering some approaches that should be avoided.

Approaches NOT to Take

  • Don’t say anything. Many parents simply avoid broaching this subject with their kids altogether. Maybe it is because they are afraid to. Maybe they feel unprepared or unqualified. Maybe they feel like a hypocrite because of their own sexual past. Maybe they feel like the church, youth group, or school will take care of it. Whatever the reason, let me say it plainly: not saying anything is the worst thing you can do. For starters, you are your child’s parent, charged with the responsibility of teaching them God’s ways and guiding them through the challenges of life. You are commissioned by God to raise them. To avoid this issue is to neglect a major calling for which you will be accountable. Additionally, if you don’t say anything about it, you need to know you are the only person who is staying mum on the issue. Your child is getting influenced by everyone else’s opinion on the matter – friends, family, neighbours, celebrities, teachers, and the voice of the media through music, movies, the internet, you name it – and your silence, with so many other voices shouting at the top of their lungs, is a foolish response.

If you don’t say anything, you are the only person who is staying mum on the issue.

  • Just give them “the talk”. Some parents (often dads) sit down with their child once to explain the birds and the bees. Not only is this an experience usually awkward enough to make children and parents both squirm, but it is not sufficient for giving solid guidance. Obviously, there comes a point when children need to understand what a fallopian tube is and where babies come from, but believing that this comes in a one-time-shot is faulty thinking. Children and teens need guidance, which comes with many conversations over a long period of time. It’s never just one-and-done.
  • Assume sex is the only issue to cover. While talking about sex is important, there is much more to the picture. Parents need to talk not only about sex but about sexuality. This includes all kinds of sexual activity, not just “standard” sex. In today’s age, this sadly also includes the need to discuss pornography, sexting, and various other forms of sex-by-technology.
  • Use pregnancy and STD’s as primary motivators. Next to saying nothing at all, this is the second-worst thing you can do. Unfortunately, I hear it all the time, and it has been the basic teaching of the church for some time: “Don’t have sex before marriage – you could get pregnant! Don’t have sex before marriage – you could get an STD!” These are true statements, and the wise person would take them to heart. Acquiring a sexually-transmitted disease, or becoming pregnant (or impregnating) before you are ready will bring a host of difficulty into a young person’s life. But they are not the main reasons for avoiding sex before marriage (more on this in a moment).
  • Make sex sound bad. Some parents, trying to curb their child’s sexual appetites, try to make sex sound unappealing. Not only does this treat young people like they are naive, but it wrongly projects a negative image of one of God’s precious gifts. Sex is good, particularly when used within its God-given confines, and to speak of it otherwise is offensive to God.
  • Give the impression that God is holding out on them. The opposite of speaking like sex is boring is to speak of it as if it were the most amazing thing ever. Then, to say that sex is meant to be reserved for marriage, a parent is subtly sending the message to their child that God is keeping something good from them. They are conveying the notion that God is the kind of person who keeps us from having fun, when in reality, God’s design for life is meant to lead us into the “abundant life” (John 10:10). Sex is like fire: it is a wonderful thing when properly contained, but outside its appropriate limits, it brings only destruction.
  • Make sex before marriage your pet issue. Some parents that speak up and take initiative in speaking to their kids about sex can go too far by making it the issue that they harp on over and over. It’s not bad to talk about this stuff on a semi-regular basis with your kids, but don’t do it at the neglect of other important issues, such as their social lives, their walk with Jesus, their grades, etc. Parents need to show concern in all areas, and in so doing are helping their children to see that God desires us to surrender to him in all areas of our lives, not just what some consider the “big” areas.
  • Come from a purely heterosexual viewpoint. Newsflash: your child might be gay! Actually, they could be homosexual, bisexual, transgender, or any other non-hetersexual orientation that is labelled nowadays. Yes, your child, the one whom you have loved and raised in church and taught right and wrong to. At the very least, they are likely confused to some degree about sexuality – and in today’s day and age, how could they not be? It would be so sad for a parent to attempt to be responsible and speak to their child about sex outside of marriage, only to be missing the more pertinent struggles they have going on. Parents need to keep an open mind about this, and consider that there could be more complex situation going on than they realize.

Newsflash: your child might be gay!

Elements of the Right Approach

With all of this being said, there are some key things to keep in mind when tackling this subject. Here are a few things TO do.

  • Let them see that they can be honest. Sex is an icky subject for children to talk about with their parents. It will not come naturally. Therefore, parents need to work at making touchy and taboo subjects ones that can be broached. Does your child see deep hypocrisy when you talk to them about the need to honour God? Do they believe that if they show any sign of struggle with sexual sin that you will freak out on them? In short, do they feel hesitant to really open up with you? Creating the kind of environment where this happens takes a lot of work over a period of time. But if any of the above questions can be answered with a “yes”, you can forget having much influence on them.
  • Show concern for their whole lives. Sex before marriage is a big deal, but it is not the only deal. Your child has lots of things they are dealing with, both internally (hormone changes, discovering their identity, finding their own faith etc.) and externally (friends who are unreliable, bullying, schoolwork etc.). Parents need to show interest in all these areas, and give guidance in them as well. If young people only hear about sex from their parents, they develop a skewed view of what it means to live fully for God, and it sets them up for a greater sense of failure if they sin in this area. Well-balanced parenting is healthy parenting.
  • Help them see that this is ultimately about worship. The Bible connects our sexuality with worship (1 Corinthians 6:18-20, Ephesians 5:5). Those who sin sexually commit idolatry. What this means is that sex before marriage, or any sexuality outside of marriage, is the result of worshipping a false god – be it pleasure, a boyfriend/girlfriend, or feeling important. It is deeper than just making a mistake. It is the result of a heart that has strayed from God. Therefore, the way to combat temptation is to find satisfaction in God. A teen who is pursuing Jesus is far less likely to be pulled into the trap of getting involved with someone sexually. Making this connection helps young people understand what is going on in the deeper levels of their heart.
  • Make their spiritual and emotional well-being the primary motivation for doing it right. As mentioned earlier, accidental pregnancy and STD’s are given as motivation to avoid sex before marriage. That makes sense, but it should not be the primary motivation. Why? Because having a baby or getting sick aren’t the worst thing that can happen to you. They are, in fact, easier to deal with than the emotional and spiritual scars that come from becoming sexually active too soon. I would encourage parents to help their children to see that sex before marriage will result in personal harm. Sex is designed for marriage because it is meant to bond two people together. But to have that bond with someone you have not committed to for life is dangerous, because inevitably that bond is ripped apart when the relationship doesn’t last (and they rarely do). Sex is more than a physical act. Something happens on the soul-level that connect two people, and teens (or even adults) who are having sex for the fun of it, or even because they think they love each other, are going beyond what they are ready for. This is especially true for girls, who typically have sex for the emotional connection, while guys typically have it for the physical pleasure. In these instances, girls usually take the brunt of the pain, and are left with low self-esteem, low-self worth, and confusion about what love really means. Spiritually, it also invites a great degree of guilt and shame and derails a strong relationship with Christ. In other words, sex before marriage wreaks havoc on the emotional and spiritual health of children, and that is far worse than any other consequence. Parents, you need to help them see this ahead of time.
  • Give grace. Even teens who don’t have sex before marriage will struggle to control their sexuality. Jesus spoke of the need to have self-control even over the sexual eye of the mind (Matthew 5:28). This is no easy task. No one, except for Jesus himself, escapes through their sexuality without sinning. Allow your kids to make some mistakes, show forgiveness, and give encouragement to keep on striving for purity. A grace-based approach, rather than a heavy-handed one, is a stronger motivator for holiness.
  • Don’t wait too long. Last I read, the average age of first exposure to pornography was 12. I’m almost positive that the number has since then gotten even lower. It’s a terrible thing, but kids are being soaked in a sex-saturated world at a younger and younger age. Your children are no exception, even if you take strong measures to protect them. If parents wait until their child is in puberty or later to talk with them about sex, they have waited too long. It is better to err on the side of too young. If not, you can be sure that your child will have already had their sexual views shaped by others before the time you get to them. Don’t let that happen. And as mentioned earlier, good parenting in this area will involve many conversations, not just one or two.

Parenting is tough work, but it is both an great honour and a great responsibility to have children and raise them right. Every parents knows that they are figuring it out as they go, but by following some of the pointers here, you can miss the major ditches and stay on the right road in terms of guiding your children towards a godly sexual view. Ultimately, what they will do with that information is up to them. Make your best efforts to demonstrate godliness and show them how it leads to blessing and a better life. In the end, we all raise our kids to jump out of the nest and fly on their own. May we each be diligent to prepare them for that day so that they may spread their wings and soar, experiencing the freedom and joy that God intends for them.

Leadership is About Doing Something

Posted on July 15, 2014     Leave a Comment

What does it mean to be a leader?

This is a broad question that could be answered in many ways. Leadership is about responsibility. Leadership is about influencing others. Leadership is about envisioning the future. Leadership is about serving. You could say any of these and be correct. That is one of the beautiful things about leadership: it is a multi-dimensional thing that causes every leader to always have some way they can grow.

For the sake of this post I would like to hone in on one aspect of leadership. It is perhaps the most basic of leadership definitions – so basic, in fact, that it seems almost silly to have to bring it up. Yet I think it is helpful to do so. Here is what I want to explore a little with you:

Leadership is about doing something.

Seems trivial, right? Of course leadership is about doing something! No one would ever consider a person who does nothing to be a leader. A person who does nothing is probably the exact opposite of a leader. They are the dead weight that leaders drag along as they press on towards a goal. This is true. But I think it’s important to think about leadership as doing something, because there are many people who are gifted, blossoming leaders and are missing out on realizing a lot of their potential.

While it is important for leaders to grow in competency – that is, to learn to get better and wiser in whatever they are doing – that is something which will take time to develop. No one matures overnight. Learning to be a better and wiser leader comes with experience and mentoring and learning from mistakes. But leaders can still grow by leaps and bounds simply by doing something, even if in a given moment they are not sure what to do. Let me give you an example.

I am the leader of the youth ministry at our church. Every week we have dozens of teens be a part of our programs. When you take a bunch of hormone-crazy teens, from various backgrounds, with varying interests, and vastly different points of view, and then jam them into one room for several hours, it is a recipe for trouble. A lot of youth ministry is learning how to handle all of the crazy things that you’re going to deal with. How do I address the teen who keeps wearing revealing clothing? How do I step in when an argument breaks out? What should I do when a teen awkwardly runs out of the room crying, right in front of everybody? What’s the right approach when I find two kids making out in the bathroom? What is the right response when a teen tells me they are considering suicide?

These are the kinds questions that leaders inevitably are going to have to ask themselves. I have found that blossoming leaders sometimes feel unqualified and unable to deal with the situations they run into. That is probably true. Don’t tell anyone, but half the time I feel unqualified and unable to as well!

In moments like these, let me encourage the leader not to worry so much about making the right move. Certainly, I want leaders to grow and make better and better decisions. It is good to know what to do in the heat of the moment. But leadership is not about knowing exactly what to do as much as it is about doing something. 

I remember the first time I froze up as a youth leader. I can remember it like it was yesterday. I had some teens at a large, overnight youth event. I was a young, inexperienced youth leader fresh out of school. A bunch of kids were playing volleyball and basketball in a gymnasium. One kid, who gave off the impression of being a bit of a punk, was showing off some of the wrestling moves he learned from being on the wrestling team. I happened to look over just in time to see him grab one of the girls standing next to him and use a take-down move that made her slam to the floor really hard. I was shocked that a kid his size, even much larger than I, would do that to a girl. I don’t think he meant to be so harsh, but even still…come on! She got up slowly and was in pain but not injured. One of her friends said something nasty to the guy and then they walked off together. It was an uncomfortable thing to witness for sure. And what did I do?

Nothing.

I just watched the whole thing from halfway across the gym. I remember this voice in my head saying “Do something! Say something!” But I just stood there. Granted, it didn’t turn out to be a big deal. No broken bones or anything like that. But I couldn’t help but feel terrible afterward that I had watched this whole thing and did nothing. I didn’t check to make sure she was okay. I didn’t tell him to knock it off. I didn’t do anything at all.

You might just chalk it up to teens being teens, but make no mistakes about it. In that moment, I was not being a leader.

To be honest, I’m not sure exactly what the right thing to do in that situation would have been. Should I have stopped the guy from goofing around like that at all? Or just when he tried to do it to a girl? Should I have disciplined him somehow? Should I have found out who’s youth group he belonged to and let them know?

As I see it, I could have done any of these things. Which one is better than the others I am not sure. But at the very least, I should have done something.

This is what leadership is all about: seeing a situation that needs addressing and getting involved. Not sure what to do? Doesn’t matter. Just do something! Make the best judgment call you can in the moment and respond. You are sure to make plenty of mistakes, and will look back later and realize what you should have done. But in the end, leadership is not about getting every decision perfect. It’s about moving into action when duty calls.

So, next time you see something that just isn’t right, but aren’t sure what to do…don’t freeze up by worrying you will do the wrong thing. Just spring into action and do something. That’s what being a leader is really all about.

When God Feels Distant

Posted on July 8, 2014     Leave a Comment

Let me give you a little inside information about God. He likes to watch….He’s an absentee landlord!  – John Milton (The Devil’s Advocate)

Many people feel as if God is an “absentee landlord”. That is, they believe that he exists, and that he created the universe, but also that he is off in the far reaches of space busying his time with something other than the affairs of humanity on earth. He’s on a never-ending vacation in the galaxy somewhere, and can’t be bothered to intervene for his creation, even when they beg him earnestly to do so. As a result, many people – if not most people – do not feel close to God.

But this is not an experience only for those who believe in God but do not have a relationship with him. Even Bible-believing, Jesus-loving Christians sometimes feel that God has left them. His presence, once so intimate and tangible, suddenly vanishes without a trace, leaving one to wonder where exactly God is.

I know that personally there have been times in my own life when I did not feel that God was close by. Sometimes, those were seasons of straying on my own part, and I should probably have expected to feel that way given my wandering ways. Yet there have also been times when I was pursuing my relationship with God – even crying out to him – only to feel like I was all alone, talking at the ceiling. Ever felt that way before?

In times such as these, it is important to turn to the Word of God for reassurance. Our own feelings should not be allowed to dictate our spiritual lives. Feelings are deceiving. They sometimes trick us into believing something that isn’t true. Just as many people who feel unloved are often surrounded by people who care for them, so we can feel that God is absent when in reality his presence is all around.

He is There – You Just Don’t Know It Yet

This was the situation with a man in the Bible named Jacob. Traveling a long distance, he stopped along the way to camp out overnight. While sleeping, God came to him in a dream, and revealed that Jacob would have descendants so numerous that they would become a formidable nation that would inherit the land on which he slept and be a blessing to the entire world. What happens next is insightful. In Genesis 28:16 it says “Then Jacob awoke from his sleep and said, ‘Surely the LORD is in this place, and I did not know it.’”

Jacob’s experience is helpful for us. What we see is that, despite Jacob not feeling the presence of God, the Lord was indeed with him the whole time. God never abandoned Jacob. He was right near by. Jacob just hadn’t realized it yet.

If you are feeling like God is absent in your life, take a lesson from the life of Jacob. God is right there in the midst of your life and troubles, even if you don’t see any evidence of it. This is the kind of God we follow, one that does not leave us to figure things out on our own, but is working in the background in ways we can never fully understand, in order to bless us and make us like Christ. The Psalmist says it well:

The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. (Psalm 34:18)

God’s Presence is a Promise to All

You might feel tempted to think that God is obviously with a guy like Jacob, who is one of the more significant figures of the Old Testament, but that is a special case. You may feel that God is probably with other people – perhaps those more holy or important than you – but the thought of God’s presence being with you is hard to buy into. Amidst life’s hardships, who could blame anyone for feeling that way? Yet we must let our minds be set straight by Scripture.

God’s presence is a promise to all people, everywhere, for all time. The apostle Paul, on a missionary journey, says that God has placed people all over the earth “that they should seek God, and perhaps feel their way toward him and find him. Yet he is actually not far from each of us…” (Acts 17:27).

This is a great description of life. Many people feel like they are flailing around in the dark, trying to feel their way towards God, hoping by some miracle perhaps to even find him. Yet this kind of desperation-driven action is unnecessary. Paul says it so clearly: God is actually not far from each of us. What this tells us is that, despite often feeling that God has left us, he is nearer than we think.

Your Day of Realization is Coming

Be encouraged by these words. Wherever you are, whatever you are dealing with, however you may be feeling – God is right there in the midst of it all, even if you can’t sense his presence. What you need to do is trust in the Word of God and believe the promise, despite strong pulls to the contrary. Believing that God is with us when we cannot feel him is an act of faith, and the Christian life is a life lived by faith. Trust in the promise. Cling to it for dear life if you need to. One day, like Jacob, you will look back on this season and say with confidence “surely the Lord was with me, and I did not know it.”

“I came from God”

Posted on July 1, 2014     Leave a Comment

It boggles my mind how many people see Jesus as merely a historical, religious figure who taught people not to judge and to love thy neighbour. To be sure, Jesus is a historical, religious figure, and he did teach about judging others and loving others. But if that is all you think of when you think of Jesus, you are missing gigantic chunks of the rest of the picture!

I’m guessing that most people think this way about Jesus because that is the common perception of him. And since that is the most common view, we feel like we understand enough to have an opinion without really looking into it for ourselves. I would like to challenge you to take a closer look at Jesus. Anyone who reads the gospels and pays close attention at all to the words and actions of Jesus will be hard pressed to find him to be just a good religious leader. Jesus said the most controversial and offensive statements the world has ever known. He made claims that no human being has the right to make – that is, of course, unless they are true. Author C.S. Lewis rightly said that when one considers the Jesus of the Bible, there are only three legitimate options you can arrive at.

Option 1 – Jesus is a liar. Because of Jesus’ remarkable statements, some conclude that he was a master manipulator out for personal gain. His wild professions of special knowledge and relationship with God the Father were simply lies, and Jesus knew it. Therefore he is discredited and we ought not to pay attention to such a mischievous person.

Option 2 – Jesus is a lunatic. This view sees Jesus not as conniving but as mistaken. Jesus said crazy stuff simply because he was crazy. He was out of his mind. Therefore, he again ought to be dismissed, and his teachings seen as those of a rambling lunatic.

Option 3 – Jesus is Lord. Here, Jesus is not considered to be lying, but in fact telling the truth. And he is not considered to be crazy, but of a sound mind. Therefore, Jesus’ outlandish claims are the truthful words of one who is qualified to say such things; in other words, he really is the Son of God.

In Lewis’ mind, no one can rightly say that Jesus was merely a good man or a moral teacher, because neither would make the kinds of claims that Jesus made. It is simply an option that should not be left open.

So, just what kinds of claims did Jesus make that are so controversial?

There are dozens that I could point to, but here is just one. In John 16, Jesus says the following to his disciples (emphasis mine):

[25] “I have said these things to you in figures of speech. The hour is coming when I will no longer speak to you in figures of speech but will tell you plainly about the Father. [26] In that day you will ask in my name, and I do not say to you that I will ask the Father on your behalf; [27] for the Father himself loves you, because you have loved me and have believed that I came from God. [28] I came from the Father and have come into the world, and now I am leaving the world and going to the Father.”

Did you catch that? Jesus not only says that his followers believe that he came from God. He explicitly affirms it as true. Jesus is claiming that his origins are with God. He is speaking not of coming from God the way every person comes from God (since God alone gives life), but he is speaking of coming from God in a special sense. He speaks as one who has been specifically sent by God, as if he has a unique relationship with the Father that is beyond that of anyone else.

How many of us would find it odd, shocking, or even downright offensive if someone we knew made this claim? Imagine cousin Jimmy at Christmas dinner, saying “Well, the reason God sent me to you all is just about ready to be taken care of. I guess after that I’ll head back home to heaven.” Everyone would think he’s nuts!

That is, unless, cousin Jimmy could give some evidence that what he says has merit. Can he give us something to make us consider his outlandish claim to be trustworthy? What if cousin Jimmy could perform miracles, like healing the sick, walking on water, and raising people from the dead? Would we have more reason to give weight to his statements?

Jesus plainly says he came from God. Let the shock of that sink in. We cannot consider Jesus to be an ancient moral teacher, not when he says crazy stuff like that. But at the same time, how can we call him a liar or a lunatic when he backs up his claims with supernatural power? How can we squander such a notion when he comes back from the dead, as witnessed and verified by hundreds of people?

The answer is: you can’t. To do so is illogical and unwise. Too much is at stake. If Jesus really did come from God, then we ought to listen to what he has to say. We should not be so flippant about him and brush him off too quickly. Especially when he says other things like…

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. (John 3:16)

Answering the question “Who is Jesus?” rightly, and therefore believing in him or not, is the difference between perishing and eternal life. I would encourage you to give that some serious thought.

The Invaluable Presence of Dad

Posted on June 14, 2014     Leave a Comment

stick family

The other day I was driving when I noticed the vehicle in front of me had one of those stick figure families on the rear window. These decorations are hardly uncommon anymore, but something caught my attention about this one – there was a dirt-crusted silhouette in the shape of a stick figure dad where the father sticker apparently used to be. Alongside the missing dad was a mom, three kids, and a dog. Sadly, this is a very typical North American family.

I don’t want to jump to conclusions about what happened to dad in that family. Maybe he passed away; maybe he ran off with another woman; maybe someone simply stole the sticker. But the real-life implications of what this simple sticker family represented is all-too-common these days. Many families are devoid of dad.

As we hit another Father’s Day I am reminded of how important the role of dad really is. I think about the influence that my father has had on me, and also the influence that my grandfather had on him, and even back to my great-grandfather, who was a man of God that died at age 102, and even started the church that I grew up in. I don’t know much beyond great-grandpa John, but I do know that his legacy of faith and godliness has had a major trickle-down effect that is resonating even in my own life and, I hope and trust, will carry on in the life of my own son.

Looking at these men in the Edgar family tree – great-grandpa John, grandpa Syd, and Ken, my own father – there is a few things that stand out to me about the value of a good dad. The first is that these men are not remarkable by worldly standards. My great-grandfather survived the great depression, both world-wars and scraped by like most in his era. Grandpa Syd worked mainly in the local steel plant, while raising 7 kids with grandma Jean. My own father runs his own tow truck company and has raised 6 kids alongside my mom. None of these men were or are affluent, highly-educated or well-traveled. They are by all accounts very ordinary men. Yet because of their character, dependability, and example of faith, these ordinary men have been able to do extraordinary things.

Even a cursory reading of the Bible shows that God uses ordinary men to accomplish his will. The scriptures are packed with the common man, the disabled, the lowly, the outcast, the uneducated, the poor, and even the young who God uses for his purposes. Many of these men make their primary influence – for good or bad – as fathers. Imperfect as they all are, God is able, in his wisdom and power and grace, to work beyond their shortcomings to do amazing things. God wants his men, and especially his dads, to be faithful to the calling he has placed on their lives.

Another thing that stands out to me about the men in my family tree is that their presence has been invaluable. In fact, that is perhaps the most crucial ingredient to being a good dad – simply being present. Nothing can really replace a dad who is there. A dad who shows up to ball games; a dad who isn’t dominated with side hobbies; a dad who takes time to talk and listen with his kids; a dad who tucks the little ones in at night; a dad who puts down the phone and shuts off the tv; a dad who drives the family to church every week…these, and countless more, speak volumes into the lives of kids. Granted, every father has limited time to offer. The demands of work are often a great hindrance to this. Yet most children are understanding in this way. Dad has certain obligations to fulfill, and so he is given grace. The presence of a dad really means something when it comes in this shape: if dad can be there, he will be there.

I am deeply saddened when I think of all the families who don’t have dad in their home. Try as they may, mothers and children can cope with this loss only so much. Having a father-figure who steps into that role is an enormous blessing, but I’m not sure that it completely covers up the wound of a missing father. No one can fully replace dad. But I give kudos to the men who have stepped into roles that other men have vacated and done their best to provide a father-like presence for children. God will reward such men accordingly.

This Father’s Day, I want to encourage all of the dad’s out there to be present in their families. Be active and involved with what is going on. Don’t leave everything on the shoulders of mom. Discipline your kids. Pray with them and for them. Show your wife affection in front of them. Read and teach them God’s Word. Show your daughters how beautiful and valuable they are. Raise your boys to be men of character. Demonstrate what hard work looks like. Be a man of grace. Show them how to commit to things. And most importantly, pass on a legacy of faith in Christ that is your number one priority.

What is Common Grace?

Posted on June 3, 2014     Leave a Comment

common grace

Common grace is a term in Christian doctrine that refers to the goodness of God that is poured out on both believers and unbelievers. It is “common” in that it is universal – every person experiences degrees of common grace. It is “grace” in that we don’t deserve it. Common grace is to be differentiated from, for example, saving grace, which only a born-again person experiences. The Christian has experienced special grace in numerous ways that a non-Christian hasn’t.

  • In having their sins forgiven
  • In having the indwelling presence and power of the Holy Spirit
  • In having eternal life
  • In having their spirit pass from death to life
  • In having personal friendship with God

These, and many others, are examples of special grace. By contrast, common grace is not exclusive to only Jesus-followers. It is a universal experience that is given to all in various forms. It is not dependent upon a person’s standing with God. In fact, everything that is worth celebrating in life is a result of common grace, since God doesn’t owe anyone anything. As Jesus’ brother, James, says…

James 1:17 Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.

Anything that is enjoyable in life is a gift from God that is given because of God’s common grace. There are any number of examples that could be mentioned:

  • The beauty of a sunset
  • The joy of laughter
  • Every talent and skill we possess
  • The ability to reason
  • A loyal friend
  • The coziness of a soft blanket
  • The thrill of victory
  • The enjoyment from a lover’s kiss
  • A good nights sleep
  • Dancing and music
  • A refreshing drink and great food
  • Every breath that brings life

The list is literally endless. Though the “amazing grace” of salvation we sing of is known only by some, God’s common grace is experienced by all in measures we can’t even begin to quantify. The old saying to “count your blessings” is an ode to how much of God’s common grace each one of us enjoys every day. It’s too bad we’re not more thankful for it!

I don’t really like the term “common grace” because there’s nothing really “common” about it. When I think of something as common, it feels boring. Common things are easy to ignore, and they make us shrug our shoulders. But God’s good gifts should not be treated that way. I prefer “universal grace” or even “daily grace”, but the concept is more important to get right than the term is.

Psalm 145:9 The LORD is good to all, and his mercy is over all that he has made.

It could be said that even the offer of salvation is a gift of common grace. The promise of John 3:16 is true for anyone who believes, and so the offer of forgiveness and eternal life is evidence that “the Lord is good to all”.

Jesus also taught that God is good to both the righteous and unrighteous.

Matthew 5:45 For he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust.

Luke 6:35 But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil.

It is this aspect of common grace – that it is given to all – that makes it a wonderful thing. Though God does give certain graces only to certain people, he is still a God of grace to all, even those who spit in his face.

Common grace has a few important effects on human life that should be noted. One is that Christians can still learn from non-Christians. We fool ourselves if we think that the unredeemed have nothing of value to offer us. What an arrogant position to take! God’s common grace means that unbelievers have valuable things to teach us. Though Scripture is still the standard for measuring truth, let’s not forget that God opening our eyes to the gospel is not the same as giving us exclusive access to truth.

Another thing common grace results in is the restraint of evil in the world. Even to those who are not in submission to God, who are resisting the Holy Spirit, who desire to do evil and have little moral compass are held back from committing worse evil by God’s common grace. Scripture shows this in a few places.

When Abraham was deceitful about his wife Sarah being his sister, and had allowed her to be taken by Abimelech, God states that it was divine intervention (read, common grace) that stopped Abimelech from becoming sexual with Sarah and unintentionally committing adultery.

Genesis 20:6 Then God said to him in the dream, “Yes, I know that you have done this in the integrity of your heart, and it was I who kept you from sinning against me. Therefore I did not let you touch her.”

None of us can really know for sure just how much sin God has held us back from committing. But each of us should be grateful for the grace that God gives us even when we are not aware of it.

Not only does God restrain evil for specific people, but he does so in society as a whole. This is evidenced by the good deeds that even unbelievers do. Non-Christians, who don’t necessarily follow God’s laws, still often have integrity and a sense of right and wrong that is godly. This is a result of God’s common grace.

Romans 2:14 For when Gentiles, who do not have the law, by nature do what the law requires, they are a law to themselves, even though they do not have the law.

Again, who knows exactly how much sin God restrains in society and across the world? But because the Bible describes mankind as being desperately wicked, we are safe to assume that the world would be even worse off than it already is if not for the goodness of God in making life on this evil planet bearable.

In the end, common grace is actually one of God’s grandest works. It is what makes us right to say that God is good. He has mercy for all. He pours out blessings on each of us. God’s common grace is what makes anything good in life actually exist, and for that we ought to be incredibly thankful.

You’re the reason for every good thing, every heartbeat
Every day we get to breathe
You’re the reason for anything that lasts, every second chance
Every laugh, life is so sweet
You’re the reason for every good thing, every good thing
Every good thing, every good thing…
-Lyrics from “Every Good Thing” by The Afters

Two Types of Prayer

Posted on May 29, 2014     1 Comment

Prayer is the most essential ingredient of the Christian life. I hear it said all the time: Christianity is not a religion, it’s a relationship. If that is true, then prayer is the foundation for that relationship. Communication is what makes a relationship real and living. Without talking, a relationship does not exist. When someone wants to cut off a relationship with another person, they often say “I never want to speak to you again”. That is because communication equals relationship. So, as people who have a relationship with Christ, we believers need to pray!

Prayer is not meant to be a religious experience as much as a conversation between Father and child. In Matthew 6, Jesus talks about praying sincere prayers that are from the heart, not full of religious mumbo-jumbo that is meant to impress God. Thinking of God like an awesome Dad changes the way we approach him in prayer.

With all that said, I think there are two types of prayers that are needed for an effective and fully thriving prayer life. Hopefully you find this to be a helpful distinction.

Spontaneous Prayer

Much of life happens on the fly, and our prayers should follow suit. Spontaneous prayer is prayer that happens sporadically throughout the day. It is usually triggered by an event or emotion that grabs our attention. Spontaneous prayer tends to be really short prayers said in the heat of a moment. Praying spontaneously is a result of trying to walk with God throughout the day. A “Sunday morning Christian” does not use much spontaneous prayer because they have placed God in a box, but a true believer follows the Bible’s advice to “pray without ceasing”. I tell my students to think of it like texting God. Most teens I know text people short sentences throughout the course of a day. Spontaneous prayer is just like that.

Spontaneous prayers for me are typically 5 or 10 seconds long and usually only one or two sentences. If you are having a hard time grasping what it might look like, consider a few examples.

  • You see an ambulance drive by and pray “Lord, be with them”.
  • You are about to make a tough phone call and pray “God, give me the words to speak.”
  • You are feeling tempted to sin and pray “Jesus, show me how to get out of this.”
  • You are walking down the hall and see a bully who has been picking on you coming your way, and pray “Lord, please help know how to handle this.”
  • You are feeling stressed out from the day and pray “God, could you please refresh my spirit?”
  • You see two people in the middle of a public argument and pray “God, please help them with whatever they are going through.”
  • You have an opportunity to share the gospel with someone and pray “Jesus, give me the boldness to speak the truth.”

Spontaneous prayer is effective prayer. Don’t think that because it is short, on the run, or maybe even said silently that it is not as powerful as “regular” prayer. God hears everything and answers every prayer.

Planned Prayer

The other type of prayer is planned prayer. When most people think of prayer, they picture planned prayer – someone going off to a quiet place with the intention of having alone time with God. Planned prayer is awesome and should be a staple of every believers life. Yet, I know that planned prayer has always been a struggle for me, partly because I tend to be busy and partly because I sometimes have a hard time focusing. Regardless, planned prayer is something we need to work at if we are going to have a well-rounded prayer life.

My own prayer life really took off when I started to take control of my planned prayer. I have a more regular “devotional” time that seems to help me be more consistent with praying. But the biggest change I made was writing down things to pray for. Writing down prayer requests helps for several reasons.

  • It helps us to remember prayer requests we said we would pray about
  • It helps us to pray for more people than we probably would if we didn’t write it down
  • It helps us to pray for people more often than we likely otherwise would
  • We can keep track of answered prayers better
  • It brings to mind acts of love that we can do for the people we pray about
  • It reminds us to keep in touch with people we may have forgotten about

You can use any system you want, but here’s what I have been doing now for almost 2 years. I have 30 index cards that represent the 30 days of a typical month. On each card are different prayer requests. They consist of family members, friends, neighbours, people I am mentoring, community leaders, organizations, specific events, people I am witnessing to, and  people in my church. Each morning (or evening) I pray for everything listed on that days card. Sometimes, if I find that my focus is good and I have the time, I will pray through several cards in one sitting. This system allows me to pray for a lot of requests that would never randomly cross my mind. It also allows me to pray for people by name at least once a month, often more than that. It feels great to be able to pray for such a wide range of needs and do so regularly.

You Need Both!

What I find is that most people gravitate to one of these two prayer types. People who are less organized and self-disciplined tend to pray mostly spontaneously. Those who are planners and more regimented probably have a strong devotional prayer time. But the truth is that you need both prayer types to have a truly thriving prayer life. If you only pray spontaneously, you will miss praying for a lot of people. If you only pray planned, you are missing out on communion with God and setting your mind on things above. A healthy, daily mixture of both spontaneous and planned prayer is the key to a solid prayer life.

For Reflection

  1. Which type of prayer do you gravitate to: spontaneous or planned? Which one do you need to work on?
  2. Take time to write down prayer requests to pray for regularly. Come up with a system to pray through them.
  3. If you struggle with spontaneous prayer, try this trick: Place small stickers in places where you will see them throughout the day. In our youth group we call them “prayer stickers”, which are meant to remind us to pray all day long. Some places you might try: on the bathroom mirror, in a drawer at work, on a binder, on the sunflap in your car, on your keychain, in your sock drawer, in the garage, or anywhere else you can think of!

Steps to Developing a Regular Quiet Time With God

Posted on May 22, 2014     1 Comment

I created this 5-step process for our high school students to help them establish a daily quiet time with God. Christians, for more than 2,000 years, have been committed to the practice of getting alone with God on a regular basis for their own spiritual nourishment. It is the building block for having a personal relationship with God through Christ, and so I offer this up to anyone who may also find it helpful.

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And rising very early in the morning, while it was still dark, [Jesus] departed and went out to a desolate place, and there he prayed. (Mark 1:35)

STEP 1 – Pick a time

Quiet times don’t just happen. It’s important to choose a regular time to do it. Jesus got up early while everyone was still sleeping, and other times stayed up late to pray. A quiet time of 10 minutes is a great starting place, but 20-30 minutes is better. Some common times people choose are:

  • First thing in the morning
  • During lunch
  • After school, right when you get home
  • Right before bed

My quiet time will be: ________________________________________

STEP 2 – Choose a place

Jesus had a few favourite places to pray: on a mountain and in the Garden of Gethsemane. There was nothing special about these places, but they were spots that Jesus could be alone. Some ideas for you could be:

  • In your bedroom
  • At the kitchen table
  • Your favourite chair or couch
  • In a quiet hallway at school
  • At a nearby park or coffee shop

My quiet time will take place: __________________________________

STEP 3 – Get rid of distractions

The key to a successful quiet time with God is getting rid of distractions. Distractions kill our focus and hinder us from really spending time with God. Here are some ideas for removing distractions:

  • Choose a time and place where you are not likely to be bothered by other people
  • Turn off notifications on your phone, iPod, or computer
  • Turn off the TV
  • Don’t have quiet times when you tend to be hungry or tired
  • Don’t have quiet times when you are rushed for time

My most likely distractions will be: ______________________________

What I will do to remove them is: _______________________________

STEP 4 – Have a plan

Quiet times can look different for different people. There are some essentials and some other things you may want to include.

Essentials

  • Prayer
    • Prayer is simply talking to God. Start by thanking God and asking for forgiveness. Then just say whatever is on your mind. It’s also good to ask God to help you be ready for the challenges you will face that day.
  • Bible reading
    • Some ideas: read the “verse of the day” on the YouVersion Bible app, or from one of their reading plans; read from a devotional book; read straight from the Bible (John, Ephesians, Philippians, Proverbs are good places to start).
  • Reflection
    • Ask questions like: What is this passage saying to me? What in my life needs to change? What about God am I not appreciating? What promise can I cling to? How am I living for myself instead of for God? How can I bless someone else?

Optional

  • Journaling
    • Write down what you are thinking, what you want to work on, re-write a verse that spoke to you, jot down prayer requests and answered prayers etc.
  • Singing
    • Take time to praise God by singing to him.
  • Memorization
    • Choose a verse to memorize. Write it down on a card and read it several times a day.
  • Book reading
    • Read good Christian books or blogs.
  • Podcasting
    • Listen to sermons or Christian podcasts online.
  • Audio Bible
    • Listen to the Bible on audio, using your computer or iPod/phone.

My quiet time(s) will include: __________________________________

I will start by reading: _______________________________________

STEP 5 – Engage the day

Quiet times with God are meant to get us ready to face the day. Some ways to help your quiet time really make a difference are:

  • Try to memorize a phrase from your Bible reading time that will help you throughout the day
  • Pray short prayers all day long
  • Journal after your quiet time, and then later again how it affected your day

We Don’t Need a “New” Christianity

Posted on May 13, 2014     Leave a Comment

In our modern world, everything gets billed as being new. New phone, new car, new sports equipment…heck, even shaving razors and electric toothbrushes come out with the “latest technology”! Everything has to be new, or else it is rendered unimportant. Anything that sticks to the status quo is doomed to be considered antiquated and out-of-date in no time. (Of course, nothing is really new (Ecclesiastes 1:9), only reinvented from the past, but that’s a post for a different day.)

Along with this idea of needing to be new, some are making this concept applicable to religion, and in the case of this article, Christianity in particular. Christianity is considered by many to be an ancient religion that is woefully out of touch with modern reality. Maybe it worked for previous generations (and even that is highly questioned) but it certainly does not have any place in our current, highly-evolved society.

But, what if Christianity was made new?

What if we could take the historic Christian faith and adapt it to our sophisticated era? What if we could take its “good” tenets and drop those that don’t fit with modern understandings of reality? What if we simply adapted the religion to fit the need of our current culture, and left the rest of the stone-age ideas on the cutting room floor? Could Christianity still have a place then?

That is the idea that some are putting forth. Many who suggest such a thing are, in fact, self-proclaiming Christians. Perhaps one of the more prominent examples would be popular author Brian McLaren, who for over a decade has been putting forth such a notion. The reinventing of Christianity is a theme in his writing, but perhaps made most clear in the title of one book called A New Kind of Christianity. Without going into great detail, the premise is that Christianity can be extremely relevant in today’s society as long as we change it from it’s narrow, judgmental, God-of-wrath existence into a more accepting, diverse, and tolerant religion.

More specifically, its not so much that Christianity itself needs to be adapted as much as the root of Christian faith needs adaptation, that being the Bible. If we could just mould the Bible to fit each culture’s needs and viewpoints, then Christianity would be a valuable faith and would be fit to have a prominent place in society.

This view was stated well by Piers Morgan not long ago, when, in a discussion with Mark Driscoll on the issue of homosexuality, said:

The Bible is what it is; it’s an extraordinary book which has governed people’s moral and personal behaviours now for thousands of years. However, like everything in life, shouldn’t it be dragged kicking and screaming into each modern era and be adapted like the American Constitution?

Give Piers credit for saying it like it is. Piers, unlike McLaren, admits that what he is attempting to do is change the Bible, not just question conventional interpretations of it.

So, what are we to do? Should we change the Bible and make a new Christianity?

The simple and obvious response is, “of course not!” We cannot simply change the Bible or reinvent Christianity because we have no right to do so. Adapting the Bible assumes that it is a man-made creation which could use some updating and modern insight. But that is not what the Bible claims to be. The Bible claims to be the Word of God, meaning that it is not of human origin but rather finds its origins in God. God himself is the Author. And, as mere human beings, we are in no position to edit God.

…knowing this first of all, that no prophecy of Scripture comes from someone’s own interpretation. For no prophecy was ever produced by the will of man, but men spoke from God as they were carried along by the Holy Spirit. (2 Peter 1:20-21)

That is the first and most crucial thing to understand. The Bible is from God. Now, not everyone believes that and so I can understand their desire to throw it away or adapt it to fit today’s world. But for anyone who claims to be a follower of Christ or inside the household of faith, to suggest that the Bible needs editing or that Christianity needs reinventing is simply inexcusable. It is to have a very low view of Scripture and undermine the authority of God.

Another thing needs to be said. Christianity – and by that I mean the pure, unadapted gospel of Jesus Christ – is not to be tampered with. The Christian faith and its core beliefs are meant to be unchanging. The fundamental truths about God, mankind, and the salvation that Jesus offers are truths that stand for all of time. Of that the Bible is repeatedly and unquestionably clear.

Beloved, although I was very eager to write to you about our common salvation, I found it necessary to write appealing to you to contend for the faith that was once for all delivered to the saints. (Jude 3)

Now I would remind you, brothers, of the gospel I preached to you, which you received, in which you stand, and by which you are being saved, if you hold fast to the word I preached to you—unless you believed in vain. (1 Corinthians 15:1-2)

By the Holy Spirit who dwells within us, guard the good deposit entrusted to you. (2 Timothy 1:14)

The language of these texts, among others, makes it clear that Christianity is not meant to be adapted. It was delivered “once for all” and is a “deposit” that has been “entrusted” to the Church. We are not to change it but simply be “reminded” of it and pass it on unaltered. The truth of God’s Word is not open for discussion. It is the truth, spoken by God himself, and we are to submit to it. The fact that we wish to change the Bible and reinvent Christianity simply displays our sinful human nature clearly: we want to be God. We don’t like God to rule over us. We want to believe and do whatever we want. When God disagrees with us, it is God who must change. We get to choose what is proper and what is not. And if we change our mind later on down the road, once again it is God who must follow suit.

Friends, this is no small matter. Tampering with the faith that has been once for all delivered to the saints is nothing short of blasphemy and the utmost offense against God. Suggesting that this faith, which has been designed by God, is somehow insufficient or is unsuitable demonstrates a lack of trust at best and a detestable sense of pride at worst. God does not need fixing. His Word does not need changing. His gospel does not need tweaking. His truth does not need bending. But what we do need is our own hearts and wills to be fixed, changed, tweaked, and bent towards his.

To change the Bible or reinvent Christianity is to lose it altogether. It comes as a package deal: either you take all of it or you reject all of it, but sort through and pick out what you like you cannot do. The true faith, unchanged and unaltered, is the only hope for mankind. Jesus, our great God in the flesh, has come to live a sinless life in our place, and then willingly die in our place, so that our guilt could be on him and his righteousness on us. By this sacrifice we can be forgiven by God and reconciled to God. Jesus then rose triumphantly from the grave to seal his victory and gives us the Holy Spirit to secure our redemption and help us until we enter the Kingdom of God. This is the core of our faith. To change it, or redefine it, even one tiny bit, is to sap it of its saving power. May we never be found guilty of such a thing!